Ed & Sally's Cabbage Pudding

1-2 lb. cabbage (actually just the biggest savoy cabbage you can buy)
2 oz. butter or bacon fat
2 oz. onion, finely chopped (I use shallots for extra flavour, about three of them)
3 oz. fresh white breadcrumbs (that's about a thick slice, and I use stale wholemeal!)
2 heaped tablespoons chopped parsley and herbs (mixed dried herbs are fine)
2 beaten eggs, salt, freshley ground pepper

Trim cabbage but leave whole. Plunge it into a large pan of boiling water. Boil for 3-4 minutes. Lift out into a colander, drain. Carefully detach the outside leaves (4-6) and put on one side.

Cut the cabbage into quarters, cut away a little of the stalk then chop finely. Melt butter in a stew-pan (the pan you just used to boil the whole cabbage is fine), add onion, cover and cook gently 1-2 minutes.

Add cabbage, press a piece of buttered paper on the top (this is entirely unnecessary!), cover pan and cook on slow heat for 25-35 minutes, stirring thoroughly once or twice during the cooking.

The cabbage should then be soft and golden all through. Draw aside, stir in the crumbs, herbs and eggs, and plenty of seasoning. Line a pudding basin with a piece of butter-muslin or clean cloth (Much easier just to use a plastic pudding basin with a lid, which doesn't need lining at all). Arrange the outside leaves in this, stalks uppermost.

Fill with the mixture (try to really pack it), fold over and tie the ends of the cloth as for a pudding (again this cloth stuff is irrelevant if using a plastic basin, I save one leaf and press on top of the mixture before putting the lid on).
Lift out of the basin, and plunge the cabbage into a pan of boiling salted water or vegetable stock (do not remove from the basin if it's the plastic one!! Also the salted water or stock is unnecessary because it won't get to the cabbage!).
Boil gently and steadily for 45 minutes to 1 hour. Lift out into a colander, drain well, untie the cloth, and turn the cabbage over on to a hot dish. (Just take the lid off and turn on to a plate) (While the cabbage is boiling in the basin, make the following sauce - I usually double the quantities):

Sauce Demi-glace (quick method) - (I've no idea what the long method is!)
1/2 oz. dripping or butter
3 shallots, finely chopped1 rasher of bacon, finely chopped (I don't use this but it adds extra flavour)
1 level dessertspoon flour
1 small teaspoon tomato puree
a few mushroom peelings
1/2 pint good stocksalt and pepper
1 teaspoon chopped mixed herbs
1/2 gill sherry (or if you don't have any, I use a glass of wine, red or white)
2 chopped mushrooms (the ones you used for the peelings)

Heat the dripping in a small saucepan, add the shallots and bacon, and cook slowly to a golden brown.

Add the flour and allow to colour.

Draw aside, add the puree, peelings, stock, and seasoning, bring to the boil, simmer 15 minutes.

Add the herbs, adjust seasoning, and boil for another 5 minutes.

Strain.

Reduce sherry in a saucepan to half, add the mushrooms, simmer 3-4 minutes.
Add the strained sauce, reboil, and simmer another 2-3 minutes. And that's it! Pour the sauce on top and have extra ready to serve.
Really quite long-winded, but worth it.

This is us

Insecure or what

I now live vicariously through my friends and children (note: not my extended family - they are way too complicated for me to want their lives), its the best way and saves my children or partner any further embarrassment. My life is much too hard to live it myself, says me, so I go to work 4 days a week and am content to cook and clean (oh yes I am) for a man who appreciates it (he really does) and sleep in my lovely bed and watch rubbish television that rots my brain and collect my children from Norfolk (technically Suffolk but that doesn't give people any idea of just how far away they are and its that bit of Suffolk that Norfolk just doesn't want to own up to as it is so dull) and read anything I can get my hands on (but not as much as I would like) and that's that.

I am supposed to be writing a book - I have been writing letters to my children since before they were born as I wanted to explain the mess that I was bound to create of their lives and for it all to have some meaning based in truth (well, truth as I saw it at the time). Then finally there were so many letters and little bits of blog all over the place (once the internet became more accessible I tried this a lot - more failed diary attempts), that it was easier to put it in some order for them. So I am going to write the book, I really am, but first I thought I would do a blog and get people's feedback on my writing style and the stories content (sympathy isn't wanted but I would be interested in any vitriol any one wants vent at me).

Of course this is all based in my own insecurities about other peoples thoughts on my 'abandoning' my children, but this really is a misapprehension on the part of strangers, and anyone who knows me and my children (apart from their father and 'stepmother') knows this has never been the case. They mean everything and more to me and I will endeavour to show just how much to appease those of you who judge ( I fully expect to get over whether anyone else gives a damn within the next 10 years but for now....)