Insecure or what

I now live vicariously through my friends and children (note: not my extended family - they are way too complicated for me to want their lives), its the best way and saves my children or partner any further embarrassment. My life is much too hard to live it myself, says me, so I go to work 4 days a week and am content to cook and clean (oh yes I am) for a man who appreciates it (he really does) and sleep in my lovely bed and watch rubbish television that rots my brain and collect my children from Norfolk (technically Suffolk but that doesn't give people any idea of just how far away they are and its that bit of Suffolk that Norfolk just doesn't want to own up to as it is so dull) and read anything I can get my hands on (but not as much as I would like) and that's that.

I am supposed to be writing a book - I have been writing letters to my children since before they were born as I wanted to explain the mess that I was bound to create of their lives and for it all to have some meaning based in truth (well, truth as I saw it at the time). Then finally there were so many letters and little bits of blog all over the place (once the internet became more accessible I tried this a lot - more failed diary attempts), that it was easier to put it in some order for them. So I am going to write the book, I really am, but first I thought I would do a blog and get people's feedback on my writing style and the stories content (sympathy isn't wanted but I would be interested in any vitriol any one wants vent at me).

Of course this is all based in my own insecurities about other peoples thoughts on my 'abandoning' my children, but this really is a misapprehension on the part of strangers, and anyone who knows me and my children (apart from their father and 'stepmother') knows this has never been the case. They mean everything and more to me and I will endeavour to show just how much to appease those of you who judge ( I fully expect to get over whether anyone else gives a damn within the next 10 years but for now....)